Motherly self esteem

Not sure if it just me, but after my second child my self esteem has been running low. I am constantly surrounded by skinny beautiful perfect moms. They are so enchanting seeming like they have it all together. While here I am at 11:30 am dealing with my screaming toddler, who is mad because I’m trying to use the toilet while he wants to climb me like I’m a jungle gym. I have no makeup on, no bra on, hair is up in a a sloppy medusa style, and in pants that are a size too big just so I can be comfy. I look in the mirror and am disgusted with my face, my flab, my stretch marks, my scars. All while picking up my kindergartner from school seeing the pretty perky moms, feeling like I’m judged.

But what I’ve come to realize is who the fuck cares? My husband loves me for me. He tells me constantly how beautiful and sexy I am, and shows me. I am me! Yes I have gained weight, bt I’ve dealt with more shit in the last 5 years than most can imagine. I’ve lost family members, I almost lost my husband while 6 months pregnant. I’ve had struggles and I’ve had wins. I found out I have fatty liver disease, I had my gall bladder taken out when my first child was 6 months old. There were complications so I struggle with the massive scar that runs across my body from being ripped open. But here is the best part. Those “perfect” moms we see, they aren’t perfect. They just hide the mess better. I will never be fake this is me, a true woman, a true mother. Love me or hate me. But damn it I have earned my stripes! Rawr!

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